Kids living in two homes: how to share calendar, chores and pocket money

When the kids live with you every other week, an ordinary family calendar is not enough. Chores should not pile up during the weeks a child is away, pocket money should not be paid for a week at the other parent's home, and everyone needs to see who is where. A few shared rules can solve most of it.

Start with one schedule everyone works from

Most of the confusion comes from each parent carrying their own picture of which weeks apply. Write the schedule down once, with one date when the child was actually with you, and the rest can be worked out. Every other week follows a fixed pattern, and it is better to calculate it than to remember it.

Think about the exceptions too: school breaks, holidays and illness. Agree in advance how you handle swaps, so the schedule does not have to be negotiated every time.

Chores that follow the child

Chores can lose their meaning when they are handed out as if everyone always lives at home. Two common pitfalls:

The child gets chores for weeks they are not home. The chores just sit there and feel unfair.
Siblings who are home different amounts get an uneven split. Whoever is home more often easily ends up doing more.

A fair approach is to let a chore rotate between siblings and only count whoever is actually home that week. That way each child gets a turn without anyone keeping score. If you want to read more about splitting chores, we have a post on sharing household chores fairly.

Pocket money when the child lives in two places

There is no single right answer, but there are two common setups:

Pocket money only for the weeks the child is with you. Simple and clear, but it needs both parents to agree to do the same.
Pocket money every week, wherever the child lives. Then you need to decide who pays, so the amount is not doubled or lost between two homes.

What matters is that you agree and write it down, so the child gets the same answer at both homes. There is more about getting started with pocket money in the post pocket money for kids: how to get started and keep track.

How to do it in FamVibe

In FamVibe you set the child's home schedule under More → Family. Choose every other week and enter a date the child was with you, and the app works out the rest. The home screen then shows which kids are with you this particular week.

Rotating chores take the schedule into account and let a chore rotate between siblings day by day. Pocket money, which is part of Premium, can be paid only for the weeks the child is home. There is a step-by-step guide with pictures in our guide to rotating chores and home schedule.

A few tips along the way

Keep the schedule in one place. Two versions of the truth is the most common cause of misunderstandings.
Let the child see the schedule. It makes them feel involved instead of being moved around.
Make changes together. Swap weeks in advance and write it down.
Be flexible on handover days. Sports kit and school bags often end up in the wrong place.

Frequently asked questions

Should the child have the same chores at both parents' homes? Not necessarily. Many families have different chores in the two homes, because the households look different. What matters is that the child knows what applies where.

What happens to chores and pocket money if the schedule changes? Change the schedule, and everything that depends on it should follow. So change it in the schedule, not in each chore separately.

Do both parents have to use the same app? It is easiest, but you can agree on the same rules even if you keep track in different ways.

Want order on who is home and who does what? See how rotating chores work or download the app for free.